Learning How to Learn



Sometimes I learn fast. Swing one punch and you’ll get me, but swing another and I’ll duck. That’s fast learning. But learning just why it was that you wanted to punch me in the first place takes a little longer. For that to happen I need to learn about you, and I need to learn about me, and I need to learn what it is about our relationship that stimulates the Frank Bruno tendencies in you. Learning comes via action, and learning from that action through the act of reflection.

Learning isn’t always easy. It is often challenging. Ever heard the phrase “I learn most when I’m out of my comfort zone”? Well, it may be true, but life outside the comfort zone (and maybe I’ll revisit just what a comfort zone is in another blog entry one day) comes with lots of other challenges that might actually restrict learning.

I am on a learning journey. I say ‘am’ because I don’t suppose it ever stops. Learning starts as soon as a new born baby learns how to breathe in air and stops, arguably, when we learn what it is to be dead. At all points in between we are weaving our learning journey (organisational development junkies like me love the journey metaphor by the way so get used to it). This journey can, in my opinion, be enriched by learning how to learn, and this starts with a journey of self-discovery.

To misquote another famous saying: “To learn about others you must first learn about yourself”. This rings true for me. Knowing my own preferences, bias and strengths helps me to understand who I am, and helps me to understand how others see me. I accept that I am shaped by a lifetime of unique experiences and influences that make me different from you. My learning allows me to be confident in my own power, a sort of self-assurance and personal gravitas that has given me the ability to identify, stimulate and pursue an inquiry. In my own case it has given me the opportunity, drive, and more importantly the courage, to launch Poppyfish People Development in the middle of the worst recession in living memory. Most notably, it has given me the ability, after 40 plus years of searching, to finally know who I am. And I find that certainty, and acceptance of it, to be a prize that’s been worthy of the investment I have made into my own programme of self-development.

So what top tips can I, a double masters qualified self-confessed and lifelong learning junkie offer those embarking on their own parallel journeys of self development?

Firstly, accept yourself as data. Your experiences are valid. The thoughts, feelings and experiences that you have are yours and are real. Don’t be dictated to by others (and yes, there is a certain irony in even writing that in a list of tips!). Take as much information as you can from situations. Reflection is a key tool to use here. Assimilate your data, your thoughts, your feelings, your observations, your history, and turn it into learning. You know your strengths and your weaknesses. Notice how they affect you and drive your choices. When important things happen, take time to notice your own feelings and responses. Notice the emotional responses and line of thought that it provokes. It’s all data. Record these feelings. Junkies like me use a reflective diary to capture all that stuff. It’s not necessary, but some find it helpful.

Secondly, do not fear change, accept it as an opportunity to take action to live a diverse existence. Again, recognise your thoughts and feelings. Take note of the internal dialogue that goes on as you wrestle over decision making and fears of change. You can take learning from that. To develop is to change. It is in the nature of the journey.

Allow time for yourself. All of us, whether we are parents, children, husbands, wives, managers, co-workers, may sometimes feel blocked by the world around us. To learn is to accept that to be a perfectly normal and shared experience. Following your own learning path sometimes means that you have to be selfish. So don’t be afraid to take some ‘me time’ when you need to. Recognise and satisfy your own needs. For many of us this is not as easy as it sounds. I have a ‘Please me’ driver, and as such I find it quite hard to say ‘no’. It’s hard to be selfish when others need you. But sometimes you have to. To learn is to develop an appropriate level of assertiveness to enable you to hold a space for what needs to be done.

If you don’t know, ask. You can learn a lot about yourself through feedback from others. You’d be surprised how many people will give you honest feedback if you ask the right way. Good questions such as “What did you think of the way I did X?” or “I’d like to get better at Y… could you suggest any changes I might make?” are all good ways of getting feedback. But then you must Listen. Listen to the responses that others give to you, and if you don’t understand it, or if you feel it’s unclear, then simply ask them to clarify. Often, and I think this is especially true in organisations, we build up fantasies about why other people do what they do, or what type of lives they have, or how they think. Sometimes we waste time tip-toeing softly around an issue that might not be real at all. You want to know if they think you’re a good Project Manager? Just ask responsible questions. Step into your power. It sounds absurd, but it’s validity is proven.

Learn to be responsible. Sometimes we all feel that we can’t get out of a situation. We might feel that things are being done to us to keep us in a less than perfect state. “I can’t change that”, for instance. Sometimes looking at it from a position of responsibility can help to determine a course of action. You can learn to change it.

Finally, see the strength in your good points. There is an old military adage that says that victory comes through reinforcing success, not failure. Development and self-improvement focus on changing things for the better. All to often the temptation is to focus on our perceived weaknesses. How different might our lives become if we started to capitalise on our strengths?

I know what it is to undertake a learning journey. Like you I have been a learner since that mucus was first wiped from my face the moment I was born. I have seen the world through many lenses, and yet my main discovery is that learning is about respecting others and yourself. It is about knowing when to challenge and when to change. It is a tough journey in all senses of the word. It requires stamina and application. Yet nothing is more rewarding.

Go for it.

www.poppyfish.co.uk