Getting started with 1-to-1s

We know that if we are to make 1-to-1 meetings a habitual part of our management style then we have to get practising. But how do you get started with 1-to-1’s ?

Well, try this.  Next time you are in a meeting with your team tell them that you want to give 1-to-1 meetings a six month trial. Ask each of them to take responsibility to arrange their own 1-to-1 sessions with you. Ideally these will be face to face, once a week, at a regular time if you can. Giving the responsibility for arranging the meetings to the subordinates is a great way to empower them, just make sure that you are honest with them with the booking arrangements and make sure that you honour the meetings. If you don't turn up you are letting them down and they will certainly think less of you for it.

How long should each meeting be? Half an hour is fine. A general rule is 10 minutes for them, ten minutes for you and ten minutes for everything else. 

Do the meetings need to be in private? Not necessarily. In many workplaces meeting space is at a premium. They key thing is that they should not be in public. Sure, a room is ideal, but a quiet corner or workstation in which to talk is probably sufficient. Try to avoid the pub or canteen, they're not the greatest places for meaningful meeting.

Do we need an agenda? Many people find agenda to be helpful. The agenda for a 1-to-1 could be as follows:

1. Subordinate gives update on actions from last time and gives update on current situation.
2. Manager asks questions to ensure good understanding. 
3. Manager gives update on what’s happening and news since last meeting. Bring them into your world.
4. Subordinate has a chance to ask questions to ensure good understanding.
5. Subordinate outlines coming priorities and action plans for the next week (employee)
6. Discussion on priorities and ask what help might be needed 
7. Agreed what needs to be done (careful.... don't be a hero manager here, coach them to achieve their own outcomes)
8. Confirm next meeting.

It's important to remember that 1-to-1's do not replace project or team meetings. Make sure the focus stays on the individual, and don't allow yourself to get too focused on the task being discussed. Task discussions are the realm of project and team meetings. This is individual time and is about them. This is quite hard, and whilst it's important don't be too down on yourself if the early meetings retain a strong task focus. You'll get better at it over time. There's more on this in the Top Tips below.

Do I need to keep a record of the meeting?
Notes are helpful reference points so note taking is encouraged. However these do not need to be typed up, approved and issued as a formal record. An e-mail of the main points can be helpful and is best done by the employee rather than the manager.

I have seen 1-2-1’s that always refer back to the individual job plan and objectives. This might be overkill, but if you find the structure allows a skeleton for discussion then go for it. It works for some, but it can lead to an artificially narrow focus - you want to talk about what's REALLY happening, and often that means things that are not planned in advance.

How frequently should we meet?
The textbook answer would be once a week, and most managers ought to be prioritising time to keep to this - especially when you are getting started so keep reinforcing how important it is to keep the commitment. We all know that some weeks they will not happen, but it's not really a genuine 1-to-1 if your only having them once every three weeks. 

What if I manage a virtual team?
Virtual teams still need 1-to-1 attention, maybe even more so than traditional teams. Luckily the computer age provides a number of ways that we can hold 1-to-1s, the most obvious being a Skype call. Be sensitive about time-zone differences and share the burden of early mornings and late starts. Again, book the slot and keep it regular. 

KEY TIPS

Persevere: The key thing is to keep at it. There are many reasons why other meetings may appear more important than your 1-to-1. Don’t be fooled. The 1-to-1 is a top priority meeting that is all about getting the best out of your team and each other. 

Have an open discussion: 1-to-1 meetings should be not simply about project/status updates but are often more helpful if about wider organisational and working life. Share expectations and be honest. Ask employees to prepare for the meeting. Let them know they will have time to discuss whatever they wish and you will respect their use of the time. Ask them to consider using the time as an opportunity to concentrate on their goals, their plans, their growth, and their professional needs.

Ask questions: As a line manager, one of the best things that you can do in a 1-to-1 is to ask lots of questions. Good examples include “How are you getting on with [insert challenging area of skill development]”, “Are there any areas where you need my help?”, “ What other challenges that you are facing at the moment?”. “What’s going well at the moment?”, “Is there an area that we can improve?” and “Do you have all the resources that you need?”. The questions above all come from a coaching style, but don't be afraid to offer direct advice if they ask for it.

Accept that "Stuff" will come out. Recognise that what ever the agenda, any 'stuff' that is going on in the individual's life at that time will come out in the 1-to-1. Don't try to shy away from it, it's an important part of their working life and may well be affecting how things are going at work. Ask questions. Listen lots. Be supportive. Offer help. Remember that your 'stuff' might also come out. Think about how that might affect the meeting. Control your 'stuff'. Understand theirs.

Remember: It’s their meeting:  As a manager this is the key chance for your employee to have one to one time with you.  This is their time so allow plenty of space for them to ask questions. Make sure they know it's their meeting - allow them to lead. Many people find more autonomy to be motivational. Simply by asking them to take ownership of the meeting you are empowering them. Show interest in them and allow them to contribute. Give them full ownership of the meeting – just make sure you turn up and honour the commitment!

And finally...
Nothing develops people like 1-to-1 time. After a six months of getting your feet wet with 1-to-1's you will have had around twenty sessions with each staff member, and you - and they - will be one step closer to living the dream!

What are you waiting for!